The internet is full of weird, whacky and less-than-wonderful inventions, anything from the light-hearted crowd pleasers to the deeply-disturbing ‘who created this’ pile. Here are eight USB chargers and memory sticks that fall somewhere in between.
USB-heated warm gloves
We’ve all been there: You are trying, desperately, to type that witty comment below a YouTube fail video, but it’s so darn cold in your ice palace that your frozen fingers can’t relay the message you wish to convey.
What to do? Well, how about these ‘Stylish USB-Heated Warm Gloves’, available for an oddly specific €6.15.
According to the reviews these gloves warm up quickly but will not be too hot. “It provides a pleasant feeling of wearing. I often use, because sitting in front of the computer often freezes my hand,” says Picica.
Pet Rock, connected to your computer
Father Jack’s only true pet was his brick, so why not recreate his love for stonemasonry by getting your very own USB Pet Rock that does absolutely nothing.
“USB Pet Rocks don’t do a dang thing. Except make you smile,” reads the Amazon description.
There’s an awful lot of junk sold on the internet just to make people smile, which I fully agree with.
That said, I’m not buying a pet rock.
USB ports? Try three!
This Cactus Triple USB Hub is one of the more useful devices on this list. We never have enough ports; it’s simple biology really.
So this is both cool looking as well as imperative to any multi-device charging aficionado’s existence. It’s just a shame it’s not green, with prickles, and some internal water.
It’s USB 3.0 with wide-angled ports to prevent cable clutter. It supports USB 3.0 SuperSpeed, backward compatible USB 2.0, with a transfer rate up to 5Gbps.
Gold, always believe in your soul
To own a bar of gold, wouldn’t that be wonderful? Well, how about you write down that life goal on a word document and store it on this Personalized USB Stick Gold Bar.
It’s actually €49.90, made from gold-coloured metal coating with your own name engraved on it if that floats your boat.
“This product will be printed exactly to your specifications. So, please watch your spelling!”
Put a Cork in it, kids!
From an early age, glass bottles fascinate us all.
Whether it’s transporting messages along the seemingly random oceanic currents or finding a home for a miniature 19th-century battleship, kids love bottles.
Seeing as we are all still kids, then how about this ‘Empty Bottle with Cork USB Drive’. It even comes with a little bottle that looks a bit like an inkwell. It’s only 2GB, so already very dated, but it looks great. And style is imperative.
Swiss army knives
Swiss army knives should include everything. So this one does, the Victorinox Flash, including its very own USB connection.
Victorinox Flash is a Swiss Army knife with a USB flash drive with up to 64 GB of memory. Custom engraving is available too, so you don’t confuse your USB-ready Swiss army knife with your friend’s USB-ready Swiss army knife.
Transformers USB, the winner
For those of us old enough to remember, Transformers – and Thundercats – dominated the cartoons in the 1980s (ignoring He-Man, that is). So it’s only natural that USBs can reflect that nostalgia.
According to the description, a company called Takara teamed up with Toshiba to make ‘Jaguar’, hailing “from the Transformers universe”.
It’s quite old, made to combine with Windows XP, but it’s too cool to leave out.
Umbilical cord charger, the loser
This is disgusting.
Gold USBs image, via Flickr
Buy your tickets now!