Unicorns know how to poop, and Squatty Potty wants to make sure you do it right.
While great for sanitation, the common toilet wasn’t built with human efficiency in mind. Sitting straight up on the porcelain is not how your body is meant to relieve itself of waste. If you don’t believe me, watch the unicorn.
This colourful video comes from Squatty Potty, makers of a special stool to help you with your stools.
This wee foot rest will change your position on the loo so that your knees are elevated above your hips – the optimum anorectal angle for smooth passage, apparently.
According to the prince – and the family behind Squatty Potty – pooping from a squatting position allows you to unkink your colon by letting the puborectalis muscle relax fully. That way, you can ensure you get even ‘the last scoop out of the carton’.
Defecating from the wrong angle can cause a buttload of problems, from haemorrhoids to constipation, but the Squatty Potty makers promise you the “best poop of your life, guaranteed”.
The prince even promises you’ll go twice as fast – or your money back.
The money question is $35 for one, $50 for two or $60 for three – so you can sort your friends’ bathrooms out, if you like.
2,000 Amazon users can’t be wrong, with these reviews delivering five stars all round – and a haiku.
Good news: worldwide distribution is available.
Bad news: we now know where sparkly rainbow ice-cream comes from.
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