It’s deeply troubling that the biggest literary success story of this decade seems to have been a book made famous for its poor prose, but 50 Shades of Grey was nothing if not a trend setter.
50 Shades of Grey affected so many people. Many read the book and loved it, many read the book and hated it, many, many more didn’t read it but still gained an opinion.
That’s the trouble with fame, everyone wants to share their views.
Usually, I’d ignore such proceedings but, when it comes to Twitter responses, the 50 Nerds of Grey account is an absolute doozy.
Replacing lines from the book with more realistic, nerdy realisations, all while keeping the scene set to smut, the account absolutely nails it.
There’s plenty more where these came from, too. And wouldn’t a movie based on this, rather than 50 Shades of Grey, have proved far better?
She said she was turned on by men who took risks. So he took the plastic off his iPhone screen.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) September 10, 2015
'So,' she said, entering his bedroom, 'This is where the magic happens.' 'Oh yes,' he smiled, putting on his Harry Potter glasses and cloak.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) September 9, 2015
'It's so long!' she squealed, 'I don't think it's going to fit!' 'Sorry,' he said, 'It isn't easy saying what you want in 140 characters.'
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) September 9, 2015
He was very careful during bondage sessions. He always used a safe word that contained upper and lower case letters and at least one number.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) September 9, 2015
'Come over,' she begged. 'I need you right now!' 'Just turn it off and on again,' he sighed. He hated these late night rebooty calls.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) September 7, 2015
'How do you feel about wearing black leather?' he asked. 'Ok,' she said. 'Good,' he smiled, 'Then you can be Darth Vader and I'll be R2-D2.'
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) September 5, 2015
'I just can't get enough of your curves,' he said, licking his lips and squirming with excitement. Kevin really liked the new Google logo.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) September 5, 2015
'So,' she sighed, panting heavily, 'Did the earth move for you too?' 'Of course,' he said. 'At 0.2771638 recurring kilometres per second.'
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) September 13, 2015
'I've been a very bad girl,' she said, biting her lip. 'I need to be punished.' 'Very well,' he said and installed Windows 10 on her laptop.
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) September 7, 2015
'Mmmm, I love the way you move.' she sighed. 'Forward and back, side to side . . .' 'Thank you,' he said. 'I do enjoy a good game of chess.'
— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) September 14, 2015
Main image via mmatins on Flickr
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